One woman was left red-faced when she realised she had been wearing her swimsuit the wrong way round. The one piece, by Pear Swimwear, has an over the shoulder section, when the woman got confused with the crotch segment of the swimsuit. I wore it for a couple of hours. My vagina was hanging out constantly. Is it meant to stretch like that?
Writing in bikini. Change picture
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Some people talk about writing like they are chasing butterflies along the pretty garden paths of their manuscripts. Like their words frolic with Disney characters. They speak of churning out pages like a high-end laser printer.
A few times a year I have one of those idyllic days but, most of the time, writing is an uphill grind. A teeth-gnashing session filled with curse words, clock watching and questions like, "Are we there yet? But we're writers. Writers persevere. We are mighty beings formed of stubbornness, creativity and caffeine.
Currently, I'm deep in a memoir about my crazy high-risk pregnancy journey. Rather than a grind, this manuscript is an all-out pain-fest. Instead of making up story lines and black moments for fictional characters, I'm reliving my own.
The only thing getting me through this memoir is my Bikini Wax Theory of writing. People in those places know their way around a bikini line. You know you've been in a rush to get ready for a date at some point in your life. I was at the hair salon and they offered waxing and, well So, I found myself in a back room with a woman Feeding the earth fluttery hands who asked a lot of questions about how I was doing.
Are you comfortable? Does that feel okay? Is the wax too warm? The people at the cute-name places Old grannies sagging tits asked how I was doing. They were like moms on a marathon to get the sandwiches done before the school bus arrived. They'd slap and smooth and rip like Writing in bikini pros they were. In the time it took my uber-polite fluttery girl to get ready, they'd have done a full Brazilian on a Sasquatch.
She smoothed on the warm wax, pressed her strip of linen over it. I sucked in the quick breath that goes along with having hair ripped out of your body and She paused. She didn't want to cause me pain. She was afraid she'd done something wrong. She wrung her hands and gushed out her story. The usual waxer was out sick. They'd pulled her over from pedicures. And meanwhile, a hardening strip of wax is hanging off me, my bikini line is on fire and I'm out of time. I did the quick breathing of insane pain and gritted my teeth.
We've still got to do this. Please, please, just get it over with. Eventually, with much more pain than necessary, she got through the process.
By dragging it out, she'd wrecked my timeline and my dignity. Plus, she caused enough bruising to make me call off the date. I needed to curl up with ice packs instead. That sweet woman was an epic failure at waxing, but she taught me a very important lesson about writing.
I think of her whenever my writing leaves me wrecked and sobbing. I'm only prolonging that pain by stopping halfway. It will still be waiting for me. It always is. It hangs off us like hardening wax, ripping at us more deeply than if we'd just faced the page and gotten through it to the other side.
We're writers. When in doubt, just keep going, y'all. You've got this. And you're my tribe, so I've got this too. One last pro tip: If you feel the need for some lady or man scaping, especially if you're shooting for edgy mojopick the place with the cute naughty name. They've got the skills to get the job done fast. What gets you through to the other side when "you don't wanna" [fill in the blank]?
Share your motivation tips and any juicy stories with us down in the comments! By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. Just ow. But, as usual, howlingly funny, Jenny! When I'm writing, the rest of whatever my day holds feels much more manageable, because I have that porthole of escape. When I'm not writing, well, the whole DAY can feel like a bikini wax half-done. Chocolate is indeed a helpful motivator!
I think it was Bob Mayer who said, "while I don't always like writing, I like 'having written. Never been bikini waxed. No plans to ever do it. But as a dude, I'd liken your analogy to childhood experiences of Indian rope burns, scalp-scraping "noogies" or a swift fist-punch to the nuts. Oh, or how about this one? Jenny, I know you know this one firsthand. Your back is on the ground and the bully could be a sibling is dangling a spit wad over your face. Sucking it back up with each inhale.
Lowering it with each exhale. That's what writing So, the best thing to do is get it over with. The burn, the "noogie," the ball-bashing and the spit shower. And the writing. You always feel better after it's done. But you gotta get it DONE. Now editing, that's another story entirely. Laura hates editing too. I don't mind it so much. It's much more reinforcing than the blank page. Oral anticoagulant therapy understand the Sasquatch thing, as I am one.
I have more hair than my dog. The stylist that used to cut my hair waxed the middle of my uni-brow a few of times and it felt like getting hit between the eyes with a ball peen hammer. I can't begin to imagine the pain involved with the forcible removal of the acreage required for a Brazilian. Now that I have that image firmly embedded in my brain, I promise to just grit my teeth and get through the next scene without complaining! You've been waxed, Bob! I love learning these kinds of details!!!
So you know the pain of there-is-no-way-out-of-this. If I felt about writing the way you do, I wouldn't do it. Mind, Writing in bikini not saying I sit in the chair every day, anticipating unicorns dancing across the page, but jeez, it doesn't hurt THIS much! Don't lie. You'd still do it. It's the joy of getting the story out and seeing it all pretty and ladyscaped. Couldn't resist Thanks for the pics! I just do it. Sure, it definitely takes me longer than those times when I'm actually in the mood to write.
Isn't that so frustrating, Pamela? The scene that would normally take me an hour-ish will take two or three when it hurts. Yet, it ends up being the best thing ever to come out of our fingertips. After all these metaphors, the real thing doesn't seem nearly as bad.
Vanilla Thunder has granted shewearsaredsoxcap.com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work within this interactive story. Poster accepts all responsibility, legal and otherwise, for the content uploaded, submitted to and posted on shewearsaredsoxcap.com Embarrassing Bikini Stories: NEVER Wear a Bikini in an Adventure Pool! I’m thrilled to be featured today as the Newbie showcase on Victoria’s fantastic blog shewearsaredsoxcap.com what better way to introduce myself than to share one of the MOST embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me! (Newbie Showcase MisplacedBrit). The secret to getting a perfect belfie like Kourtney’s is finding a skimpy string bikini and following her tip of her year-old mom posing for a sexy swimsuit mirror selfie writing: Author: Colleen Kratofil.
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By using the site, you consent to these cookies. Yikes and holy cow bells! Thanksgiving Christmas. She wrung her hands and gushed out her story. I only get to write when my b. New band or movement appears. I don't mind it so much. I reward myself with sprinty pieces like this one so I can keep my self esteem intact. Why Shop Here? Si No. The one piece, by Pear Swimwear, has an over the shoulder section, when the woman got confused with the crotch segment of the swimsuit. Yesterday, when Brad brought that term to my attention, I edited the comment and apologized to him. Additionally, writing about something which you know will provide you with an edge over other people to deliver rights to the topic.
Some people talk about writing like they are chasing butterflies along the pretty garden paths of their manuscripts. Like their words frolic with Disney characters.
Here, I have a story that almost didn't exist. It started as just Without going into exact detail, I was worried about my ability to write. So I intended to just write a scene or two, and maybe only share it with a person or two.